With little over 2 weeks before jetting off to Rwanda I feel that now is a good time to fill in a couple of blanks and have a bit of a mind dump I guess.
So the latest news is that I've been offered and have taken a position on The FA's National Game Youth Council. A very exciting addition to this years' agenda. I know, I thought I was busy enough! But as you may have seen in previous posts, this is something which I wanted. The only thing that I struggled to get over last year with disappoint, but I've worked incredibly hard to put myself into a contending position. I'm already relishing the opportunity to meet new people and work within a team who really want to make a difference and along side determined individuals. What a workforce we have!
We had our first meeting just over a week ago, a surreal experience. Excitement, apprehension, nerves all packed into me. However much I enjoyed the new environment and working with our fantastic team for the first time, I struggled to concentrate. I couldn't switch off to switch on.
The same weekend as this meeting we had our Rwanda Induction. 2 days of preparations for our trip to deliver The FA Changing Lives Award! I had a phenomenal time with the team, and I honestly think we are an incredibly strong group of people who will make a huge difference to the community we work in. It's been said enough times, we all bring different strengths and attributes to the table and we've all earned the right to go on the programme.
The workshops/sessions we were in were really enjoyable and thought provoking. The weekend has really brought to life the journey we are embarking on, I don't just mean the thousands of miles to get to Rwanda! But the impact we will have, the difference we will make and how the trip will be life changing for us, not just those who we work with. When I think back over the last couple of years and the amount of people I've worked with it's quite astounding, but I don't and haven't really seen the impact which I've had. Where as, I think about Rwanda and it's a completely different story. I feel like everything will be magnified by a thousand percent. Within that short space of a week there will be so much development and it will come in many forms. I guess that by working with the same people day in day out you can see the affect you're having.
I came away from those 2 days in a weird mood, I cant really describe it in any other way. Rwanda has taken over my thoughts, it's taken over me! I'm continuously speculating what might happen, challenging my thoughts - what will you do if...? What if you make a mistake? So many What ifs.
Through my blog it's so easy to become a keyboard warrior and put on my armour.. but really I'm getting quite nervous. I don't want to let people down, it think that has become a way of life for me.. constantly worrying about other people, what they're thinking and seeing. I've not got that rocket up my backside, and even if I did I wouldn't ever light it. That little spark where you can run out of your comfort zone and take the chance of it being in the wrong direction. I'm working on it.
I have and will to continue to say that Rwanda will be a catalyst to developing personally and professionally. I honestly believe that once we've landed in Rwanda I'll feel fine and I'll make the most of every second - I know so. But for now, the nerves are sticking around.
Having the thoughts of Rwanda and my roles for the weeks, all the plans, team morale the lot is so exciting. I couldn't switch off from this to switch on to National Youth Council. I tried, but it just wouldn't happen.
I cant wait to be boarding the plane with the team and get going. It will be an unbelievable personal journey, I'm ready for it. I might come back a different person, but I'd rather come back a better person.
It's been difficult to write this post, but I don't want anyone to think this is a one off. I get nervous about everything. I've become a self-doubting pro. Pick out any event, opportunity, coaching session and there has been a certain level of nerves and anxiousness. However much I look forwards to something, there is always a monkey on my back questioning things. Maybe I'm getting good at hiding these emotions and feelings.. I'd like to think so.
Because of the above, the trip to Rwanda will hit me hard and will have a huge effect on me personally. As I've said, I'm ready for it. It's this waiting which I'm struggling with. I've too much time to think and as the quote goes, most of the time over-thinking creates a problem which wasn't there to begin with.
I've chosen problem solving as my behaviour to try and improve over the course of the week, I think that from the above and my own thoughts/feelings they wont always be practical problems to solve. But that's a challenge in itself.
It will be difficult for me to blog daily in Rwanda because I like to reflect deeply and take my time. But I will definitely have a blog post [if not a few] once we return. I'm looking at the possibilities of videos every other day with video diary clips, snapshot in the moment thoughts to give a flavour of daily events. That's the plan, but as I've been warned, I will need plan X, Y and Z.. not A, B and C.
Over and out amigos, see you on the other side.
http://vimeo.com/84705012
Wednesday 29 January 2014
Tuesday 7 January 2014
2014... Lets Go
Happy New Year to all readers, Thank You for coming back and not making it your New Years resolution to stop reading! :P
So, I've got quite a year ahead of myself. A dream of mine came true over Christmas, which entails an adventure I've wanted for nearly 2 years, unfortunately you'll all have to wait and see what that is. I've got trips across the worlds to look forwards to, some massive challenges involved in that, not just those which meet the eye. Continuing my Activator role, working hard to provide the best service I can for students. My coaching which has already taken off like a rocket over Christmas, opportunities which I couldn't have imagined a few years ago when I started. Volunteering when possible, feels weird that I've had to turn down 2 County FF camps because of Rwanda - lets hope a few others pop up! And this year I will also enter the final year of my degree. Scary stuff, my calendar is filling up quickly.. but I wouldn't have it any other way!
A lot of the above was thrown into my last blog post, so I don't really want to chirp on for too much. I'd like to use this post to outline my goals and targets for the year. I went through my little black book yesterday [for the first time since September] and realised how many targets I had hit. Things like my job, volunteering for 200 hours across the year, don't put too much stress on myself, do what makes ME happy, take every opportunity I can. I've even hit 2 out of 3 goals which I put up as bonuses if you like, things I can control, but ultimately come down to someone else's decision.
The last 3 weeks have provided me with the opportunity to reflect properly, not like I reflect enough already, but to do it constructively and put things up for this year.
Without further I do, this years coaching goals are:
1. Get out of this comfort zone: I've worked hard to get where I am.. but that isn't an excuse to stop. It's a reason to keep pushing on and see how far I can go!
- Offer more ideas at the Skills Centre and within my grassroots club.
- Set more, and different 1-1 challenges. Make sure that I revisit any challenges set, make sure that they mean something.
- Create better and more open sessions. Don't put a lid on things, just because there is a topic or theme, doesn't mean that's what has to happen. Make sure there is a great amount of opportunities to be creative and have decisions to make.
2. Implement my reflection sheet. Which is something I've put together to make my reflections more constructive. I want to get away from just writing what I thought and then leaving it. By having something printed out and on my desk for when I get in, I have to fill it out and build on what's happened.
3. Talk time; gaining and maintaining attention. Make the most of the time available, use it wisely and don't take up time which isn't yours. Remember whose session it is.
I've nailed them down to three, after going over goals and targets I set last year. These 3 are the end product of putting old ones together and building upon them.. not ticking them off and running in another direction.
Last year I set personal goals including using eye contact appropriately, enjoy what I'm doing, get across to different county's FF events, apply for the National Youth Council, apply for my job, learn to say 'no'. Some I've achieved, others are still a work in progress.. but I'm getting there. Like I said, I've only get 1 aim left on my 'uncontrollable' list, which I'm doing all I can to get myself up there.. but the final decision isn't mine.
I've added a few new objectives,
-See how long I can go without drinking alcohol. I got to March last year, slightly spurred on by my knee operation. So lets see if I can get further without something like that to aim for.
-Apply for the Shropshire Youth Council when I can.
-Work towards my Level 2, which is a must!
-Start looking at a dissertation topic.
I've a couple of others which are staying private for now, but non the less, they are still there to be shot at.
Christmas was a welcomed 3 week break, but it's good to be back in the thick of it. I cannot wait for the 17th January, heading down to SGP for the first time this year to meet up with the Changing Lives team and get the wheels in motion for our trip in February.
I hope that you all have a fantastic 2014 and work hard.. in the direction of your dreams.
So, I've got quite a year ahead of myself. A dream of mine came true over Christmas, which entails an adventure I've wanted for nearly 2 years, unfortunately you'll all have to wait and see what that is. I've got trips across the worlds to look forwards to, some massive challenges involved in that, not just those which meet the eye. Continuing my Activator role, working hard to provide the best service I can for students. My coaching which has already taken off like a rocket over Christmas, opportunities which I couldn't have imagined a few years ago when I started. Volunteering when possible, feels weird that I've had to turn down 2 County FF camps because of Rwanda - lets hope a few others pop up! And this year I will also enter the final year of my degree. Scary stuff, my calendar is filling up quickly.. but I wouldn't have it any other way!
A lot of the above was thrown into my last blog post, so I don't really want to chirp on for too much. I'd like to use this post to outline my goals and targets for the year. I went through my little black book yesterday [for the first time since September] and realised how many targets I had hit. Things like my job, volunteering for 200 hours across the year, don't put too much stress on myself, do what makes ME happy, take every opportunity I can. I've even hit 2 out of 3 goals which I put up as bonuses if you like, things I can control, but ultimately come down to someone else's decision.
The last 3 weeks have provided me with the opportunity to reflect properly, not like I reflect enough already, but to do it constructively and put things up for this year.
Without further I do, this years coaching goals are:
1. Get out of this comfort zone: I've worked hard to get where I am.. but that isn't an excuse to stop. It's a reason to keep pushing on and see how far I can go!
- Offer more ideas at the Skills Centre and within my grassroots club.
- Set more, and different 1-1 challenges. Make sure that I revisit any challenges set, make sure that they mean something.
- Create better and more open sessions. Don't put a lid on things, just because there is a topic or theme, doesn't mean that's what has to happen. Make sure there is a great amount of opportunities to be creative and have decisions to make.
2. Implement my reflection sheet. Which is something I've put together to make my reflections more constructive. I want to get away from just writing what I thought and then leaving it. By having something printed out and on my desk for when I get in, I have to fill it out and build on what's happened.
3. Talk time; gaining and maintaining attention. Make the most of the time available, use it wisely and don't take up time which isn't yours. Remember whose session it is.
I've nailed them down to three, after going over goals and targets I set last year. These 3 are the end product of putting old ones together and building upon them.. not ticking them off and running in another direction.
Last year I set personal goals including using eye contact appropriately, enjoy what I'm doing, get across to different county's FF events, apply for the National Youth Council, apply for my job, learn to say 'no'. Some I've achieved, others are still a work in progress.. but I'm getting there. Like I said, I've only get 1 aim left on my 'uncontrollable' list, which I'm doing all I can to get myself up there.. but the final decision isn't mine.
I've added a few new objectives,
-See how long I can go without drinking alcohol. I got to March last year, slightly spurred on by my knee operation. So lets see if I can get further without something like that to aim for.
-Apply for the Shropshire Youth Council when I can.
-Work towards my Level 2, which is a must!
-Start looking at a dissertation topic.
I've a couple of others which are staying private for now, but non the less, they are still there to be shot at.
Christmas was a welcomed 3 week break, but it's good to be back in the thick of it. I cannot wait for the 17th January, heading down to SGP for the first time this year to meet up with the Changing Lives team and get the wheels in motion for our trip in February.
I hope that you all have a fantastic 2014 and work hard.. in the direction of your dreams.
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