Last night was difficult for a number of reasons. I was helping at the Lancashire Schools U16s Trials, they are always fun and I've come to know most of the girls who trial and have played in previous sides. It's difficult to make decisions around players who I've come to know as people and who trust me a person not just a coach. But I've had to get on with things and do what's best for the county team.
It's also difficult know I might not see half the kids again due to my new challenge coaching my own U14s team. Although I don't make match day decisions, or do anything important - I'm just the cone picker, ball collecter, chief comedian - I've come to love being in that environment, helping people to enjoy their football and seeing them develop along the way. It's quite depressing that my part in their journey is coming to an end.
It was a pleasure to see a couple of girls who's I've not seen all season, turn up and show how much they've improved and it's pleasing to be able to tell them what I've noticed.. Seeing their response is also quite nice.
But last night also touched me quite a bit. A final conversation before leaving has made me feel a little bit emotional. Speaking to a player who I met 2 years ago, explaining that I might not see them again this season was pretty difficult. I've come to realise the role I've played in these players' lives, it's quite overwhelming. Getting a heart felt thank you for inspiring a player, the feeling I got is difficult to word. Having them talk about my blogs/ this blog and to know they've seen and admired the work I put in on voluntary basis to see the personal gains other people get rather than my own was very special. I might not be their favourite coach, but I've been told I'm up there.
Sometimes, moments like this make it all worthwhile. To know I've been a part of someone else's journey is an incredible feeling, something I'm proud of. Nobody can ever put a price on that, or even begin to word it.
