Here goes, the FA National Football Futures Camp 2015, formulated thoughts and reflections. In the immediate thoughts I mentioned how I never thought I'd ever have the opportunities I have done, nor did I think football could provide me with such amazing moments.. and I didn't think that some volunteering thing could become such a pivotal part of my life. To some Football Futures is just a programme, but to many it's an emotional life changing thing that just so happens to encompass a mutual love of football. A programme that brings me to tears far too often, but emotions mean you care right?
The last few months have been a whirlwind. I also have previously said that my NGYC and Football Futures pathway is fragile. I know so. Fragile because my life has changed, hugely, over the last month. Moving to Somerset and starting my first full time role in football is on one hand amazing - the dream is coming alive, on the other hand it is the most scary and nerve racking thing I have ever been through. Many would say that all of my FF (Football Futures) opportunities and events have paid off. I don't see it that way. To me the opportunities have been taken because I wanted to, not because I thought they would lead to an extrinsic reward of a job. This move and life event has ruffled feathers of normality of coaching every week and spending a lot of time towards Youth Council work.. The worrying fragility and uncertain future of my FF involvement is just that worrying. It was these nerves which I took into FFCamp15. Nerves of knowing this might be my last Camp, being uncertain of putting in a NGYC application for the new season and starting to worry about the big move.
Our last event as the NGYC for the 2014/15 term, it was going to be special no 2 ways about it. As a team we are/ were incredibly passionate about the children and young people within our game. It was and has been so enjoyable to spend time who all share the same vision and goal in moving football into a better position than when found. I have made and built unbelievable friendships and personally developed far beyond measure over the last year and a half. Camp seemed to be a fairytale end to what has been a surreal time with the team.
It seems irrelevant to give a breakdown of the week - there other posts which have done that from previous years. Camp aims to reward the young leaders who are making a real difference in their counties, but it is a comma not a full stop. A point to reflect on the distance travelled so far, the challenges and successes, and a point to plan and think ahead to what it to come. To inspire and support people as people, helping them to become better citizens, not just developing the football workforce.
It always amazes me the power of football, FF and National Camp. 99 strangers turning up on the Monday and then leaving as friends just a few days later. The 99 journeys which take place, and more than that.. the journeys of staff and Youth Council members. Being a part of that is special. Getting to know people, their journey to camp, motivations and ambitions you cant really word it. Well I cant.
Before Camp started, we as staff, mentors, NGYC discussed what success looks like, if you can answer that then well done. I cant. It looks different to everyone. Success may have been getting to camp, answering a question in a workshop, presenting in front of a group, making friends, understanding options ahead. Whatever it is/was, our job was to help to make that happen. The word 'journey' gets banded about a lot, but camp is about understanding where you are on your journey, and working out where the next steps will come from. Not comparing yourself to others, but comparing yourself to yourself. Now we're getting a bit deep, but understanding the significance of what you're doing, the challenges ahead and what the overarching success is to look like. It is these meaningful relationships, conversations and moments which make Camp, well, Camp. The memories I hold from 3 years ago are what might seem like insignificant moments to many - but the mentors, NGYC and staff are what make Camp so special, and we cant ever underestimate the power of a spoken word or taking the time to just listen. This is why understanding what success looks like is so important.
As I said previously, I was and continue to be inspired by the young people within the game. Those who really care and are determined to be a better version of themselves. I watched young leaders last week develop across 4 days, come out of their shells and in many ways I saw parts of myself in others. Those who showed an immense amount of passion and care in what they were doing. Who got as much out of camp as they possibly could. It's really difficult to word the feeling of seeing that and being fortunate enough to be a part in helping other people. I am and ordinary person who has made the most of the opportunities on offer, and it has led to a position of such importance to inspire others to maybe follow in my footsteps, or alongside - we're not creating robots remember.
I thought a week would be enough to construct actual thoughts about Camp, but I'm not so sure.
Camp this year has brought home how important FF is. And yes, I know, I keep banging on about it. I made the decision to present during the closing ceremony of camp, maybe a silly move as I have cried throughout the previous 2, but I decided that was a challenge I wanted to put ahead of myself. Many people wouldn't know that I nearly didn't speak. Moments before I was due to stand up and open the closing, I found myself crying and shaking sat by the tea and coffee. The moment really got to me. I've spoken so many times before and got to a point where I actually quite enjoy it.. but closing Camp seemed a step too far. When something mean so much, emotions and the moment gets magnified by like a billion. Camp and FF is that important to me, that I let my emotions take full control - the chimp wasn't being tamed if you like.
If Camp is about the small wins, then that was certainly mine. The cape was certainly on, and if anything else it proved to me how amazing my FF Family is. It would have been easy for the guys to go on and deliver the closing without me, but they didn't. Huge thanks to Adam, Kieren and Luke for sitting with me, giving me time to compose myself and backing me to deliver what I did. It is moments like that which make you realise what and who is important - to me making me realise how much FF and the NGYC mean and how much I want it all to remain a part of what I do. Somehow, not sure how.
Camp maybe over, but the memories and friendships will last a lifetime. It's as much about those running it, as it is the for the young leaders. The structure of Camp may change and evolve, but the great thing is it always brings in new people. It is difficult to word the feelings, emotions and reflections.. maybe I over estimated my ability to do so.. but sometimes we need to remember what it is all about.
As Kirsty Whitton rightly said at the start of the week, although talking about Camp, I think this sums up the entire essence of Football Futures:
'It's how much of an impact you can have on a person, as a person.'
Powerful stuff.
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